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When Marriages Go Sour ... Attitudes that Sweeten
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marriage. Society is trying to play a game with 50-50 marriages;
it doesn't solve problems-it compounds them.
The husband should be the leader in a marriage, but
neither the husband nor the wife should act in ways that
antagonize each other. The husband should learn to take the
lead
in
resolving differences and encouraging cooperation.
Isn't it time you learned or recaptured the loving and
healing marital values and attitudes?
What are the wonderful attitudes that lead mates to
build each other up instead of tearing each other down? How
should mates approach each other to heal the wounds of
misunderstandings and past mistakes?
How should mates communicate feelings and needs to
each other so both partners can start to tackle their problems
and difficulties in a constructive way?
There is a way! Now is the time to try anew to improve
or, possibly, to save your marriage by expressing these heal–
ing attitudes!
What are they?
Express Appreciation
Damaged marital relationships need a positive first step
in the right direction. Somebody has to step forth first and
break harmful patterns of communication.
Before you married, you saw qualities that you appreci–
ated in your mate. Undoubtedly you expressed your admira–
tion and appreciation of these qualities many times and in
many ways to the one you loved. But in marriage so many
make the
big mistake
of failing to continue to express appre–
ciation for the small things-or even the big things-pro–
vided by their mates. Even good marriages can slowly sour
and die because husbands and wives take each other's labors
and efforts for granted.
What good qualities do you appreciate in your mate
now?
To this you should not immediately reply, "But he (or she)
has
all
these bad qualities and habits that bother me!" Right
now focus your mind on your mate's
good
qualities. List them
in your mind. Write them down to impress your mind if you
have to. It's important to recognize good qualities in a mate or