Our greatest tests as Christians are just ahead now! Here's how to protect and promote the love we should have for one another.
Daddy," asked my daughter, "what do you do when two of your best friends don't like each other?"
My
daughter was faced with a dilemma. Here were two people, both of
whom she liked. If she was with one or the other, everything was fine.
But whenever the three of them were all together, tension and hostility
filled the air. It really put my daughter in a difficult position.
If you think about it, isn't that just how Jesus Christ must feel sometimes?
Christ
loves His people — true Christians — His Church — every last one of us.
He calls us His friends (John 15:14). He eagerly looks forward to
having us spend eternity together with Him. He commands us to learn to
get along now — He wants the people in His Church to grow in an
atmosphere of harmony and peace. Christ wants His friends to be
friendly with each other.
Most of the time we are this way, as we should be.
As
Pastor General Herbert W. Armstrong has explained, human beings cannot
solve difficulties and have proper
relationships
oetween themselves without the power of God's Holy Spirit.
But we, if we are converted Christians, have the Holy Spirit. We are
without excuse. The fights, quarrels, resentments and hatreds typical
of human nature belong in our past — they should not be part of our
lives now.
"For we ourselves also were sometimes foolish,
disobedient. deceived, serving divers lusts and pleasures, living in
malice and envy, hateful, and hating one another" (Titus 3:3).
A
Saturday-night visit to the emergency ward of a big-city
hospital brought the truth of this scripture home to me
forcibly.
Saturday nignt, a doctor explained, was a
bad time in the emergency room.Several wounded people were
in the waiting room, and most of them had been stabbed. punched,
battered or shot. All needed patching up or stitching together and in
some cases, even major surgery was required. It was
a sad situation!
Such are the fruits of people who are "living in malice and envy, hateful, and hating one another."
Offenses among Christians
God's
people generally aren't this way. We don't physically assault each
other, intentionally wounding other parts of Christ's Body.
But
offenses do come, as Christ warned they would (Matt. 18:7). We aren't
perfect yet. Even if we don't cause major physical wounds, we still do
thoughtless, carnal things that cause emotional cuts and bruises on the
Bodv of Christ.
But even small cuts and scratches can become
infected and cause serious problems. Anybody who has traveled in some
of me worm s poorer countries where standards of cleanliness aren't
high knows how important it is to carry a first-aid kit.
You
don't need much — some antiseptic, a bottle of lotion, some-bandages —
just enough to protect yourself from sunburn and to quickly clean and
cover small scratches or cuts before infection can get in and spread
throughout the body.
Each little wound left exposed to a hostile environment can cause serious poisoning — and even kill.
It's
the same way with Christian love. A small offense, a minor quarrel
between brethren, can fester and spread, until eventually eternal lives
are endangered. But some simple spiritual "first aid" will prevent
problems from becoming too serious.
In His Word. God has given
us several tried and tested remedies that will quickly heal the
problems that sometimes Hare up among us. Some, like suntan lotion, can
help prevent injury. Others, like antiseptic solution and bandages,
will cleanse and cover a wound before infection can spread.
Let's open up the spiritual first-aid box — the Bible — and see what is there.
Apply first aid promptly
The
first thing to remember about first aid is that it should be applied
promptly. A wound should not be left untreated any longer than
necessary.
Christ made this clear in the Sermon on the Mount:
"Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest
that thy brother hath ought against thee; Leave there thy gift before
the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then
come and offer thy gift" (Matt. 5:23-24)
Today we don't bring
gifts to altars. But it is easy to see the principle. Let's not fool
ourselves — we can't carry on a relationship with God and ignore the
fact that we have caused offense and hurt to someone else.
We
should by all means pray about the problem to get in the right
attitude. We need the help of God's Spirit to be able to say: "I am
sorry, I was wrong". But having done that, we must get up and solve the
problem.
Christ's instruction implies that we should do
something about the problem right away -make a phone call, write a
note, pay a visit get it straightened out. If we tell the one we have
offended that we are sorry and try to relieve the tension between two
friends, then God will be eager to accept us both.
We shouldn't
talk ourselves out of trying to be reconciled. Nor should we delay.
Paul warned. "Let not the sun go down upon your wrath" (Eph. 4:26). The
Phillips translation puts it, "Never go to bed angry."
Go to your brother
But what if our brother won't be reconciled? Christ gave us a first-aid remedy for this, too.
"Moreover
if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault
between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy
brother" (Matt. 18:15).
If we would just do this, probably 90
percent of all our quarrels and hard feelings would be cleared up at
the outset. Yet we all seem to want to avoid using this simple remedy.
Sure,
it's hard, and it's humbling. There is even a risk that we won't be
received and that matters will get worse. But that seldom happens.
What
usually happens is that the offended and offending parties will quickly
make up, feeling rather ashamed of themselves. They will end up with a
much better understanding of each other, and their friendship will be
deepened and strengthened.
And if our brother will not hear us?
"But
if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in
the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established"
(verse 16).
In the unlikely event that the other person won't
accept us, we should take with us one or, at most, two
other members, and try again. This will probably work. The other person
will see that we are serious. Also, there will then be one or two
witnesses to attest to the fact that we have tried to make up. It will
no longer be just our word against his.
Note that the quarrel
still need not be public knowledge. The instruction does not say to
"spread the problem all around and get a whole group of people on your
side, then pick your two most ardent supporters and once again besiege
the offender." Doing so would be tantamount to starting a civil war in
God's Church.
But what if the offended or offending person still
won't be reconciled? "And if he shall neglect to hear them (us and our
witnesses], tell it unto the church" (verse 17). Obviously, a serious
problem is brewing - one that may go deeper than the superficial wound
we are trying to treat with first aid. Better get help from the experts
— go and tell the ministry.
From then on, the problem is out of
our hands, except that we should continue to pray about it. The
minister may have to take serious disciplinary action, even going to
the extreme of putting the unforgiving member out of the Church (verse
17).
But most quarrels among brethren never get this far. Most
of the time, going to our brother is enough. Christ's Church is a
healthy body — easily able to fight off infection, if the infection is
treated promptly.
Personality conflicts
A
physical first-aid kit usually contains something to prevent chafine
and blisters, such as from a shoe that's too tight.
Personality conflicts in God s Church are like blisters. Some people just seem to rub each other the wrong way.
Our
spiritual first-aid kit contains two items to help in case of
these spiritual blisters. These items are labeled "Forbear" and "Don't
judge."
Forbear means "to tolerate," "put up with" and "be
patient with." "forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if
any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also
do ye" (Col. 3:13).
Rather than reacting, we should overlook the things others do that annoy us.
If
anyone is entitled to bear a few grudges, Jesus Christ is. Our sins put
Him to death, our sickness and carelessness with our health caused Him
to have to undergo a terrible beating. But Christ has totally forgiven
us and bears no grudges.
How is it that God can overlook great offenses without bearing grudges or seeking revenge, and yet we cannot?
Just
as we are not anxious to hurt our children or see them injured, even
when they seem to be "looking for trouble." so God as a loving father
pities His children (Ps. 103:13). Although He will not put up with
rebellion and lack of effort forever (verse 9), He is not anxious to
punish (verse 10), If a persons overall motivation is right, God will
be patient, longsuffering and forbearing. The way we act must often
irritate Him, but He looks on the intent of the heart.
Human
beings find it hard to do this. Without God's Spirit leading us in our
personal relationships, we judge by what wc see — or what we think we
see. But our vision is often obscured.
Seeing the problem clearly
"Why
beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye. but considerest
not the beam that is in thine own eye?"
asked Christ (Matt. 7:3). "Or how wilt thou say lo thy brother.
Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and behold, a
beam is in thine own eye?" (verse 4).
Christ, of course, was
using an analogy. But if we did really have a piece of timber sticking
out of our eye, would we trust our vision driving or even crossing the
road'.' No - we couldn't see straight.
The beam typifies a
self-righteous, super-critical but grossly distorted point of view. We
are all subject to it. We evaluate others too harshly, and tend to see
not a person with a problem, but a person as a problem. We say "He's so
stubborn." "She's too fearful." "They're so selfish."
Stubborn,
fearful, selfish. These are serious problems that need drastic
remedies, for they could keep a person out of Gods Kingdom. But are we
sure we have seen the problem clearly?
"Thou hypocrite" said
Christ. "first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shall
thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye" (verse
3), The bible teaches us that when we judge a person, it is possible
that we are doing the same thing ourselves (Rom. 2:1). in other words,
we see our own sins more clearly in other people. (Our spiritual
first-aid kit had better have a mirror.)
Maybe, when we
have gotten the beam out of our eye, we will see more clearly the other
person's problem. And perhaps, after glancing in the mirror and seeing
ourself with the same problem, we will be more anxious to give the
other person the benefit of the doubt. Instead of viewing others with a
spirit of judging and criticism, we will see them with empathy and
compassion.
Maybe we will see the man we at one time thought was stubborn as actually being persistent. We will realise
that
the lady we saw as fearful is just cautious.That couple we thought
were selfish will appear as good examples of frugality.
But
maybe there is a bit of a mote in our brother's eye. Then we
will be able to see it clearly. The Bible says to restore such a one in
meekness, aware that we can, and probably do, make the same mistakes
(Gal. 6:1).
We should always be careful aboul criticizing
others, some times, a problem is just none of our business. We
shouldn't appoint ourself to go around "restoring" people.
"Who
art thou that judgest another man's servant? To his own master he
standeth or falleth. Yea, he shall be holden up: for God is able to
make him stand" (Rom. 14:4).
The lesson is that we shouldn't go
around meddling in every problem we see. A first-aid kit, in the hands
of a hypochondriac, does more harm than good.
First aid saves lives
But, properly used, our spiritual first-aid kit can save much suffering and hurt for the Body of Christ.
Today.
Christ's Body — the Church — must live in the very hostile and unclean
environment of this world. The world is getting worse all the time.
Satan,
knowing his time is short, is stepping up his efforts to poison the
atmosphere, spiritually and physically. Paul prophesied that the last
days of this age would be "perilous times" when men and women would
exist "without natural affection" (11 Tim. 31, 3).
In a time
like this, the little cuts and bruises we occasionally inflict on one
another can become inflamed and infected.
Little grievances become major offenses, and smoldering dislike can be
easily whipped into the flames of hatred.
"And then shall many be offended, and shall betray one another, and shall hate one another" (Matt. 24:10).
The
greatest tests of our Christian love are just ahead. We must learn now
lo keepthst love sound and healthy, free of Infection and threat of
disease.
Christian first aid saves lives, eternal lives.
by John Halford Good News May 1982
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