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Essentially, I was called to serve Mr. Armstrong who is Christ's
Apostle in this end time. In essence, there was simply no way for
me to serve Christ, to serve the Living God, and to serve Mr.
Armstrong, and at the same time, win a popularity contest. In fact,
I never entered a popularity contest. But, if I had tried, I
would have certainly lost because it was only important that I
satisfy the needs of Christ's Apostle. It made no difference if
I pleased others--not that I tried to discourage others, not that
I tried to hurt anybody else. The only person that I had to satÂ
isfy by my performance, by my service, if you please, was Mr.
Armstrong.
Because I was consistent in that service and forthright, candid,
and cogent in my advice over the years, I have picked up few, if
any, friends within God's Work. I've had to deal with issues,
rather than with people. And I've had to be objective and
unemotional. I've had to be more rational not irrational. And
too often, I'm afraid, just as a concomitant of doing my job, as
I was called to do that job, I have stepped on the toes of other
people, because by serving Mr. Armstrong, I incurred their enmity
or their resentment or their jealousy or their envy. And whatever
"personality" you have, as a consequence simply becomes injured and
eroded as time passes. One has only so much capital of this sort.
And every time that I had to throw myself into a breach, every time
I had to do something in opposition to what Mr. Armstrong knew had
to be done in order for God's Work to be fulfilled, more of my
personality was eroded. And that capital, you might say, was
diminished.
And as a consequence, I have realized that for 19 years--the first
19 years--before my baptism in '75, I had remained somewhat of a
"mystery man." That's the word that keeps turning up in the letters.
I was very visible. My picture appeared in a lot of places. My
name appeared in a lot of places. And I appeared with Mr. Armstrong
very often. But I had deliberately kept myself from being identified
as an individual. I was always very solidly with Mr. Armstrong on
every issue and on everything that was important to the Work. And as
a consequence, I was always simply merged with him. And that was
the proper role for me to play.
In some cases, I became a scapegoat for the failures and frustrations
of others. At other times I served as a lightning rod to protect
Mr. Armstrong and to protect the entirety of the Church from any harm.
But, in 1975, upon my baptism, an event that was received with an
outpouring of love and affection from the brethren, I began to suffer
an unjustified attack on my reputation and character from Ted Armstrong
and a few in his close circle.
Therefore, I have come to believe very strongly, particularly in
recent weeks that my direct role in the Work will end at a time that
is perfectly coterminous with Mr. Armstrong's role in the Work. We
hope and pray that he will remain strong and vigorous in order that
this Great Commission be fulfilled within his lifetime. But if that
should not be in the nature of things, then I feel that would be the
time that my direct role in the Work will also come to an end.