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20
How
to
Have a Happy Marriage
How many mates have the habit of dredging up past
mistakes-in private or public-to embarrass or put down a
mate? That's being unmerciful and unforgiving. It reopens
old wounds.
You, of course, want mercy and forgiveness for your short–
comings. You don't want them repeated again and again. Then
be willing
to
show the wonderful attitude of mercy and forgive–
ness
to
another. "Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father
[in
heaven] also is merciful," instructs scripture (Luke 6:36).
You and your mate are imperfect human beings in an
imperfect world. So when you're wrong why not simply say,
"I'm sorry." You'll soon be hearing
it
in return!
Many mates realize, after much suffering, that they have
had immature ideas of what real love is, of what marriage
should be. Why not admit shortcomings? Take up the chal–
lenge of growing in right love and maturity together.
If
an abusive mate asks for forgiveness, be willing to give
it.
If
we fail to apply the living law of mercy and forgiveness
when it should be applied, we guarantee that past mistakes
and shortcomings will destroy a marriage. One who shows no
mercy or forgiveness will not have his mistakes and sins
forgiven either (Matt. 18:35).
Of course, persistence in physical abuse must stop if a
marital relationship is to survive. Outside counseling may be
required.
Be Helpful and Constructive
One of the United States' leading divorce and family law
attorneys was asked what is the single biggest reason couples
split up. He said, "No. 1 is the inability to talk honestly with
each other, bare their souls and treat each other as their best
friend."
You want your feelings, needs and opinions to be heard
and considered? So does your mate!
Many mates develop the habit of putting down their
mate's feelings, opinions and desires. But how do you stop
this vicious, degrading and damaging cycle? Quietly sit down
together. Make outgoing love your aim.
"Love is kind," reveals I Corinthians 13:4 (RSV). The
J
.B. Phillips translation makes it even clearer: "Love .