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When Marriages Go Sour ... Attitudes that Sweeten
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looks for a way of being constructive."
Be constructive. Work
on a positive solution
to
a problem instead of destroying or
putting down your mate when a problem arises.
Talk, listen
to
your mate. "Love does not insist on
its
own way" (I Cor. 13:5, RSV). "Be swift
to
hear,
slow
to
speak,"
commands scripture (Jas. 1:19). How often do mates
cause enormous marital problems because they disobey this
command?
"A soft answer turneth away wrath; but grievous words
stir up anger" admonishes Proverbs 15:1. Next time, before
being so quick to lash back or respond to a mate, stop. Ask
yourself, "Is what I'm going to say helpful and constructive
to
solving the problem, or am I really trying to get back and
put him/her down?"
When a mate tries
to
be
positive and constructive about
the situation, it encourages the other mate
to
do the same.
But whatever steps you take, don't forget
to
strive
to
apply the attitudes that help and heal in marriage!
"We're a Team!"
A healthy, loving husband-wife relationship is not a
master-slave relationship.
It
is not a mother-son or father–
daughter relationship.
It is
a sharing, complementing rela–
tionship where each mate recognizes the God-ordained role of
the other and contributes
talents and energies for
the good of the marriage.
It is a union in which each
mate expresses apprecia–
tion of the other's contri–
bution. Lasting marital
happiness requires
team
effort.
One of the newer
tragic trends is the grow–
ing concept or pressure
to
go your own way- or,
as some express it, "do
your own thing" or "find
yourself"-even if it