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58
How to Have a Happy Marriage
tomed to having you argue and fight back. By changing the
way you react, you begin
to
change the way your mate acts
toward you. Doing good for evil will help your mate realize
that
it is a new
ball
game.
A husband will have
to
change the way he pitches,
because the wife is not hitting back anymore. So why should
he continue to pitch when nobody is hitting? Why should he
continue to
fight
when there is nobody to fight with?
It
gets
boring fighting with yourself.
By doing good for evil you control how the game is
played, and how your marriage is lived.
In the past when you did evil for evil,
it
was harder for
your mate
to
see his or her wrong because you blinded your
mate by your wrong. Feeling the sting of your response, your
mate felt justified in reacting.
The apostle Peter observed this phenomenon when he
wrote: "Likewise you wives, be submissive
to
your own hus–
bands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without
a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they
observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear" (I Pet.
3:1-2). There is power in a good example!
And do not forget the positive effect your doing good for
evil
will
have on your children. By your good example you are
building a proper way of give in them. You are doing what
they will need
to
be doing later. You are teaching them how
to get along with people-the only way that leads
to
real
peace.
Now you may be thinking, "How do I know all of this
will work in my marriage? What if I do
all
of this and my
mate just uses it
to
take advantage of me?"
You are forgetting about one very important Person who
has unique ways of helping you like nobody else can. God can
equalize the situation-if you have him working for you.
Remember this, that no matter what your mate does or
does not do, your happiness depends on what you do-how
much you give. It is based on God's supernatural law of love,
and Almighty God stands in back of it and guarantees it. It
works!
You may feel that it is unfair for you
to
do good while
your mate gets away with evil. Listen
to
what the apostle